Kim Young-Moo (1944 – 2001)

 

Kim Young-Moo was a professor in the English Department of Seoul National University. He only began to write poetry in the last 10 years of his life. He died after a 3-year confrontation with cancer.

 

 

Virtual reality

 

From the moment you receive a cancer verdict

(cancer is always a verdict, not a diagnosis)

your world brightens up.

Memories fly about

like the windows revolving on a screen saver.

The subconscious of a primitive age wakes up

and comes strutting by, while meteors

flash down from your future up in space.

Darkness banished, light and shade, patterns removed,

thickness, depth and weight abolished,

differences between living on the street with starvation

and a snug bed at home with warm meals obliterated,

all demarcations destroyed,

World of clear bright light.

With the roots of time and the stone hinges of space

eliminated, your reality becomes

a world of cancerous cells,

self-reproducing limitlessly

without distinction between inside and out,

oh, the very height of digital technology,

caught in the trap of a restructuring

designed to weed out the uncompetitive

at the very instant when,

incapable of surviving amidst toxic conditions,

unlike pokeweed, bullfrogs, threadworms, leeches,

they have little by little lost their vitality,

declined into weakness, your life,

a world of pure white light, virtual reality.

 

 


 

Clouds after clear skies

 

Not a cloud in sight,

then suddenly the sky clouds over.

The river asleep below a eutcalyptus tree

undulates, moves on again.

 

After drying out its soaked wings in the sun

then shaking them thoroughly, folding them up

like laundered clothes,

a cormorant disappears into the water.

After a long submersion,

a silver fish squirms in dazzling nakedness

at the tip of its uplifted beak.

 

The river flows, mimicking starlight and

the leaves shimmer in the breeze,

mimicking the waves.

I have been living for a month beside Swan River

in West Australia, a place like the world on the Fifth Day,

like the first man

who opened his eyes on the Sixth Day of Creation.

But its seems that after a month, even Paradise

grows as familiar and staid as an aging, long-time wife .

 

After gazing blankly at the ancient river, I set off again,

listening to the boisterous chatter of youthful waves.

I see from behind

Life and Death walking hand in hand, affectionately,

red hair-ribbons streaming in the breeze,

a ravishing sight.

 

 


 

Meteor

 

Death brings a burst of tears

and birth a burst of tears.

 

A departure that makes others cry is death,

birth is a coming at which we ourselves cry;

at the end and beginning of life

there are always tears.

 

Meteor tears fall

flashing across the black sky,

the pitch-black darkness.

Oh, a sudden illumination touches my heart.

 

Has someone died?

 

Has someone been born?

 

 


 

Thin-shelled snails

 

Every day a red-bellied frog living in the rapids

gulps down

thin-shelled snails thinking theyre good to eat

then quickly spits them out

with a grimace

having found they taste awful.

Im clinging like a drop of dew to a leaf

at the edge of a cliff where the river rushes by.

I wish I were that snail just vomitted up

from the frogs gullet.

 

The snail is very slow today, as ever,

heedless of the passage of time,

and its taste is nothing special, too .

 

 


 

Fireworks

 

What are these sudden

fireworks?

Some happy event must have occurred

in the middle of my body.

A petard went soaring up early in the evening,

dazzling bright in my left side;

circling my waist another petard

shot up in my right side, then here and there, everywhere

fireworks started going off.

Fireworks of pain, non-stop

for three days, a week, day and night, tireless,

a new world of suffering

wrenched open in the center of my body,

an iron-fisted rule of pain.

Oh, I wish I were in a land of no pain.

Are they for a triumphal feast

celebrating cancerous cells capture of my body?

Muscles, fiber by fiber,

flesh, bit by bit,

cluster after cluster of fire-flowers

flutter down little by little, pile up

in every gap of my skeleton.

Falling fire-flowers are splendid but

more splendid still those newly blooming.

I struggle to say some words in prayer

gazing up at the stars in the sky

but my clenched molars wont even let my lips open.

Pain is its own luminosity.

Every bone turns to charcoal and burns,

a brazier-full in the middle of my body

for a month and more.

How could I forge

a new life,

even tiny as a needles point,

in these savage flames?

Oh, could these magnificent fireworks

where drops of sweat fall, swooning pearls,

be labor pains?

May they be labor pains.

 

 


 

Magnificat   1

 

I am bidden to accept

bidden to accept

this despair, this dark compulsion.

Is this what a cancer patients fear is like?

Bidden to accept a death sentence?

 

How frightened she must have been,

how frightened

as she, a virgin, was bidden to bear a bastard.

 

She said, Fiat

with resignation, with dignity,

with uneasy expectancy,

and those who have never known despair

call it devout obedience.

 

Magnificat -- the song sung

as a dream of new heavens, new earth,

born of the despair of a terminal cancer patient,

my soul, my soul

praises you in joy.

 

 

 

* Magnificat is the first word of the Song of Mary in Latin (Luke 1:46-55).